Uncle Monty's Cottage

A 'Withnail and I' fan community

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the finest recs available to humanity
desecrets wrote in crow_crag
(Yes, that reference was obligatory)


It was inevitable that there would be very little fic in this fandom (alas), but we could still do with a good rec list.

So basically, if you have any good recs, I would be super happy if you could comment with the links and I'll make a nice pretty list of it.

Don't hesitate to link your own fic! I'm particularly keen to find the stories that are lurking on people's journals and not on the large searchable archives. And I'll keep updating the list, so don't worry about being late to the party, I want All The Recs.



Dramatis by apiphile
Length: 4132 words
Rating: Teen and up

Good Intentions by Calapine
Length: ~1000 words
Rating: PG

Stop My Mouth by romans
Summary: Talking- no, expounding, declaiming, oration, has always come easily to him, almost as naturally as acting.
Length: 387 words
Rating: Gen

He was a Convicted Man of Decay by skull_stompin
Length: 1760 words
Rating: T
Warnings: Character Death

Blues Run the Game by candlelitlondon
Length: ~1400 words
Rating: PG

This Thing Goes To Eleven by earlwyn
Length: 2100 words
Rating: R
Summary: Marwood pursues the insensible. Eventually it works. Sort of. Or: ten times Marwood attempts to have off with Withnail but fails, and one time he doesn't.

A Handful of Dust by mad_march_hare
Length: 846 words
Rating: PG
Summary: When Marwood met Withnail. Set a few years pre-film.

Smile by coreopsis
Rating: PG
Summary: What happens a few weeks after Marwood leaves.

A Whiter Shade of Yesterday by swordznsorcery on DW
Length: 9871 words
Rating: PG
Summary: Ten years later, Marwood receives an invitation.
Written for the prompt Withnail and I, Withnail/Marwood, 10 years later in the Obscure and British Commentfest.

Other Pairings

Personae by apiphile
Summary: Prequel to "Dramatis"; Withnail is expelled and tries to bribe his way into Drama School.
Length: 2509 words
Pairings: Withnail/Monty
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage sex

Too Drunk to Fuck by apiphile
Length: 2754 words
Pairings: Withnail/Presumin' Ed
Rating: Teen And Up
Summary: After Marwood leaves, Danny and Presumin' Ed move in.


Beginning to Bruise by romanticalgirl
Length: 1066 words
Rating: Mature

Kingdom of Rain by romanticalgirl
Length: 1370 words
Rating: Mature

missing final scene by siyamau
Length: 500 words
Rating: G

Architects of Decay by regndoft
Length: 1083 words
Rating: Teen
Summary: It's Christmas Eve and everything remains exactly the same.

ne'er was dream so like a waking by desecrets
Length: 581 words
Rating: G

Five Times Withnail Sipped Wine From A Webley & Scott by Who Shot AR
Length: 345 words
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major character death, suicide

Doing Nothing But Aging by liveforforever
Length: 1153
Rating: G
Summary: A typical morning for Withnail and Marwood


Prejudice by March Hare (Doctor Who crossover)
Summary: 1969. The end of the greatest decade the human race had ever known. Martha Jones resolves a crisis, almost makes a friend and learns that she doesn't really know the Doctor at all. DW/Withnail & I crossover, spoilers for "Blink."
Length: 3616 words
Rating: Teen

Making Time (Lords) by Calapine (Doctor Who crossover)
Summary: The pocket watch has to die.
Length: 1477 words
Rating: Teen

Wanderers in the Fourth Dimension, or: Drunken Failsex by Culumacilinte (Torchwood crossover)
Summary: Ianto Jones meets two Doctors in a bar... Well, not quite, but it’s a near equivalent.
Length: 2481 words
Pairings: Ianto Jones/Withnail
Rating: Mature

Of Tea And Other Things by apiphile (Hitchhiker's Guide crossover)
Length: ~7800 words
Rating: PG-13

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I don't have any fic recs cos I've never actually read any fic?! I keep meaning to post on here actually, about when I went to Crow Crag earlier in the year and it was amaaaazing... but it's been a hectic year and I've not got round to it.

Here's a thing though, as my contribution, that I wrote for my best friend last Christmas. I'm sure she wouldn't mind me sharing it. It's because I can't take sad endings. Set precisely after the end of the canon script.

[A tired spring day is tapping dismally on the sooty windowpanes. Withnail is sitting alone at the bar, looking blanched. Marwood enters and places his hat down on the bar top next to Withnail, whose surprise and delight stand not a chance against his grandiloquent cynicism.]

Marwood. Hello, Withnail.

Withnail. Oh. It’s you. What are you doing here?

Marwood. Getting a drink.

Withnail. Marvellous. Mine’s a pint. [He flags him back down as soon as Marwood flags down the barman] With a gin for dessert.

Marwood. It’s good to see you, Withnail.

Withnail. [Sniffs, enviously disapproving.] You look shiny. What are they feeding you at Granada?

Marwood. Caviare and Quualudes. But only if we behave.

Withnail. [Sarcastically] Sounds delightful. Do they require a tea-boy?

Marwood. I don’t know, actually. I left.

[Withnail peruses his pint of cider as this information takes residence.]

Marwood. [V.O.] We’re told that life isn’t about happiness. Happiness is only a single perfect moment in a lifetime of ticking seconds, a moment that cannot be sustained else it loses its defining quality: its rarity, and is so diluted. Contentment is what we’re encouraged to achieve - contentment, through success and stability and material gain. But maybe success isn’t the measurable quantity we’re led to believe that it is. Perhaps some of us were never meant for paycheques and functions and three-piece-suites. Perhaps finding happiness in the dregs is our success. Look at him, fishing around in his cider for something to say. I always wanted to render him speechless.

Withnail. Well that was fucking stupid of you.

Marwood. I learned from the best.

Withnail. [Grumbles.] You can’t have your room back.

Marwood. I understand.

Withnail. I’ve sub-let it to Danny. He smoothed things over about the rent. Rodents, you know.

Marwood. Naturally.

Withnail. I could kick him out.

Marwood. That would be -

Withnail. [Continues without further inhalation.] The man’s an insufferable cunt. It’s been an endless cavalcade of wastrels, traipsing through the place, guzzling my drink, passing out in the kitchen. Infernal flotsam on a polluted tide. At least you don’t have any friends.

Marwood. [Conceals a smile behind his lips.] Yes. Thank you, Withnail.

Withnail. [Grunts and disposes of his pint.]

Marwood. [V.O.] When did this dreary inertia become more comforting than any magazine models of success we’re sold? Is this turning on, tuning in and dropping out for a new decade? We are in the same boat, sailing on this polluted tide. Perhaps for some of us the abnormal is just normal; perhaps fighting is the mistake. When the thing that you’re running from pursues you into your hard-won new life without even moving an inch, then maybe the only way to stop it from pursuing you is to turn around and embrace it.

Withnail.[Sends his gin in pursuit of the cider.] I suppose this means it’s my round?

[Marwood uncages his smile and nods and perches on the bar stool at Withnail’s right hand.]


Ohh, that's lovely! I hope you won't mind if I just make an entry out of it, so that I can get it properly tagged and things? It shouldn't languish in a comment section ^^

I'm flattered, aw, yes of course you can make an entry from it. :-)

Hokay, eons later (apologies, uni and xmas happened) I have gotten round to making that entry. :D Is there a title you want me to put on the fic? Oh and please let me know if you should want it formatted differently, italics or bolds or whatnot.

Btw you should totally post about your trip to Crow Crag, I've wanted to go for ages but according to my google maps investigation it seemed really tricky to actually get there, blocked-off roads and things? So yes I am v interested in this. :D

Thank you for posting it!

I'll write something up for that trip asap :-) Might post it locked to the comm though as I'm a bit iffy at I dunno, directing people to private property?!

Not at all! It was very good! Really impressive imitation of the style of the screenplay.

Ah, yes, I totally understand that. That sounds like a good idea to me. ^^
(Btw, unrelated, might I friend you?)

Aw thank you :-)

I posted the trip post. Also, yes of course - that'd be lovely!

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